Entwined
by Jess-siriusly
Summary: Her hands slipped into his, their fingers entwined instinctively. A look into their lives, filled with heartbreak, love, deception, regret; all evident from moments where they held on to each other.
1. Spaces between my fingers

**Hey guys, it has been so long since my last activity. And i would really like to take this chance to apologize for my inability to update Operation PEF. It has been great getting all your reviews and support. But right now, i am working on a couple of snippets. This series will consists of themes and clips from Lily's and James' lives. Really hoping you will enjoy this style. This will be a multi-chaptered fanfic, but don't worry about my laziness in updating - i already have several chapters ready for publication.:)**

**On with my story -**

Entwined

_'Cause the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly. - Owl City, Vanilla Twilight_

1

1978, June 28th

They walked out of the train door, feeling all eyes on them. The stares were not hostile; most of them were just concert, mixed with a tinge of sympathy.

But that was precisely what our head-strong head girl hated to be directed at – sympathy. It made her seem weak, foolish, as if she had lost all control of her life. Even if that was exactly how little control she _had_ over that pathetic life of hers, she preferred not to be reminded of the fact.

She strode along, willing herself not to show any sign of weakness as she made her way steadily towards her smiling parents. She felt a tug from the corner of her lips and she returned a smile from hers. Only this smile was filled with much more unspoken pain, well-hidden under the façade. Well, Lily Evans had a smile that would easily light up the whole town. She had caught sight of her annoying sister, who was apparently forced to welcome Lily's return. Her sister did nothing to hide her own irritation as she glared at Lily. But that did little to deter Lily's happiness at returning. _I am back with my family, everything is going back to normal._

Her companion, a messy-haired boy with a height that easily towered over her, had an unreadable expression on his face. Whilst his companion is basking at the thought of returning to her delightful family, he was not too excited at the prospect at all. His eyes flickered briefly to his own family, standing there to welcome him back to the world he belonged. His father gave him a smile that did not quite reach his eyes – one that plainly said, _you are my successor, you are finally returning to where you belong, no more fooling around._ Frankly speaking, that did nothing to improve his already foul mood.

He saw his companion quicken her footsteps towards her family. He had wanted to say something to her before they parted.

"Lily," he called simply.

She was actually expecting something like this to happen. She knew he would not let her go without saying something. They had sat in the same compartment (Head's compartment) for the whole train ride and said nothing more than a, "Do you want something off the trolley?"

It is not as if they had absolutely nothing to say. That would be funny. They had all the words in the world to say to each other, but neither was prepared to show their weak side. Besides, they were tired – after all the drama in the previous year, all they wanted to do was to find some solitude in each other's company.

She exhaled resolutely and turned around, meeting James Potter's eyes for the first time in days. The sudden movement shocked him as much as it shocked her. She took in his rugged appearance. He looked weary and the glint in his eyes was long gone, replaced by a cloud of genuine tiredness and sadness. She could not help but blame herself for the pain she had caused him. Then, she decided she hated Potter for the effect he had on her.

"Yes James?" She replied nonchalantly, noticing the difficulty for the word 'James' to roll off her tongue. It has suddenly grown foreign; almost like it was the first time she called him by his first name.

Sirius and Remus watched the exchange from afar. They could sense the tension, the angst between the pair. Sirius made to move in to improve the mood between those two, but Remus caught him by his arms. Remus' eyes were fraught with worry, but he resolutely shook his head. Sirius shook Remus away in anger, clearly disgusted with what he saw as Remus' unhelpfulness and lack of guts. Remus watched him turn and walk off, but glad that he was walking towards James' family to make himself useful.

How could Remus not be worried? This loyal friend who has always watched out for all his friends was unnerved by the recent twist in events. The golden couple, in everyone's eyes, was no more. They had a huge argument, not unlike those little quarrels they used to engage in before they fell in love. But this argument was different, it was deeper, and it was so apparent that they loved each other yet were trying to push each other away. And like that, the legendary golden couple was no more a legend.

Of course Sirius would be anxious to get them far away from each other. Both of them were his close friends. Both of them were Remus' too. But a good-bye would do them good, Remus decided. He headed towards the Evans, knowing he could make himself more useful by distracting the couple with a little small talk. After all, he could be charming when he wanted to. Nearby, Sirius was already a gentleman, pacifying the serious and harsh Mr Potter and entertaining Mrs Potter. Anything to get their attention away from their son and his not-going-to-be-so-smooth conversation with little Miss Evans huh?

James was caught unaware. Loss for words, he tried to think of something he could say in this situation. He was unprepared when he decided to call her back; he just thought he needed to say something. As some sort of good-bye. Now he stared at Lily, feeling like an idiot.

She was pursing her lips, something she would do when she's nervous. She subconsciously pushed a few strands of loose hair to behind her ears. _She always does that in such an endearing way._ Then he mentally slapped himself for staring like a fool, and for the thoughts he was harbouring.

"I…er…we …" he was stumbling with the words. He felt a rush of emotions, but he did not know how to articulate them. Was it regret? Was it love?

Lily raised an eyebrow at him, finding it oddly endearing that he was acting like a lovesick fool.

"…Just take care," he ended off lamely. But that was all that could be said at this kind of situation. What else could he come up with? "I love you"? "I am sorry"? No, that would be inappropriate. They had come to this final decision together – they would each go on their own ways. It was impossible between them, not only because of their clashing aspirations, but also because their world was too different. They were from different lives. They were expected to _lead_ different lives.

"Yeah, you too," Lily fought back the tears that were threatening to fall. Once again, she hated the effect James Potter has on her. But she pulled her numb lips to a tight smile, and seeing that made James feel relieved that he hadn't screwed up.

"Hey, you must come to my games. I will be playing a couple of games as a free-lance Quidditch player, so you have to be there, alright? I will give you free tickets," he laughed, visibly more comfortable now.

"Good luck with your career…" Lily trailed off, because apparently it was the wrong thing to say.

"I will be expected in my dad's company. My mum will never allow me to become an auror…" he said quietly. She saw him gritting his teeth in the I-am-strong way. She knew. She also knew about the pain that this life was causing her companion; he was not as strong as he made himself out to be. She reached her hand to touch him on the shoulder, yet stopped herself before she touched him, knowing it would be a wrong gesture. She willed her hand to fall limply to her side again.

But before she could withdraw her hand and act as if nothing happened, James grabbed her wrist. "No you don't."

He pulled her close until their faces were inches apart. He was breathing deeply, and Lily could feel the tension from him. She could feel his breath tickling her face. She felt passion, and for a split second she almost reciprocated.

He was going to kiss her. Not. He couldn't. He stared into those familiar emerald eyes and remembered who they belonged to. The girl he could never be with. He withdrew and let out a sigh of relief.

Lily took to leave, but not before leaving behind a "Good-bye, James."

He followed quietly behind her as she made her way towards her family. She made a sound of disapproval but was silenced as James slipped her hand into his.

Their fingers instinctively entwined. Warmth slipped up to both of them. James smirked. Lily felt her lips turn up against her will, but she let slip a tiny smile.

He pulled her along, and she followed closely. This was so familiar.

As they walked towards their respective lives in front of them, there came a point where both knew they had to let go of the other and walk on alone. Lily looked up and saw James' father looking in their direction. His eyes flickered down and landed on their entwined hands. A look of disapproval passed his face and his facial muscles pulled back into a frown.

Lily instinctively pulled her hand back, but was met with strong opposition. She frowned at James, wanting to signal to James about his father. But he knew – he was staring right at his father and holding Lily close to him.

She realised he was doing it to spike his father. _He was using her._ She knew she could not blame him; he had a right to rebel against the life written for him. But she was mad, mad at his refusal to move on and his refusal to accept.

_You have to learn to accept, James._

It was the hardest decision she ever made. She found her strength, and with a strength she didn't know she had, she wrenched her hands from James.

She saw him jump in surprise, looking at her confused, hurt. She did not spare him another look as she made her way difficultly towards her own family, her own future. As she passed Mr Potter, she evaded his stare and whispered, "Take care of him." From the surprised look, she knew he must have heard her.

"Hey Evans! Evans!" she heard him call after her. She caught the desperation but it was the use of last name which tore at her heart. She never turned back.

_Leave me alone, Potter._

**Ouch. I apologize for the heartbreak. Next chapter is dated 1971 September. **

**Till then,**

**Jess-siriusly signing off.**


	2. Bittersweet

**A/N: Frankly speaking, i was waiting for the first review before updating, but now it's rather clear to me that none is coming up for my first chapter. Oh wells, i really hoped you liked it (even if it is not good enough to garner any reviews)! Here's a treat, 2 chapters in one go today.**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: The characters are JKR's and hers only, even if many would love to steal them.**

2

_"Cause she's bittersweet_  
_She knocks me off of my feet_  
_And I can't help myself_  
_I don't want anyone else" - Click 5, just the girl._

1971, September 1st

Lily Evans sat in a compartment with Severus Snape. She was staring out the window, longing to see her parents for the last time. But she knew it to be impossible. They were muggles, and therefore not allowed to set foot on the platform. Besides, she knew Petunia's constant stinging remarks and brawling would be successful in deterring their parents from coming all the way.

Her companion, on the other hand, seemed rather unfazed by the fact that his parents did not even bother to fetch him to King's Cross. He had hitched a ride from Mr Evans, much to the disgust of Petunia.

Lily sighed and turned towards Severus. "Sev, is your family okay?" she raised the question carefully, knowing his family was his sore spot.

He seemed to not know what to say at first. Then he replied, "Yeah, except for those occasional quarrels, we are perfect." The response held the disdain and contempt he felt for his family, and Lily's heart went out for him.

She reached out to pat him on the shoulders. He returned a crooked smile at the gesture. "You will do well to be with me in Slytherin." He said it offhandedly. Lily was about to ask him what exactly was Slytherin.

The door of the compartment burst open at this moment. A bespectacled, messy-haired boy and his companion, a black-haired boy with a charming air about him stood at the door. The one without spectacles raised an eyebrow at the scene in front of him. He winked suggestively at Lily and Lily promptly flushed up.

However, it was the one with spectacles who spoke up first. "I am sorry to interrupt what could be inferred as burst of passion," he said smartly. "But to those looking for a compartment, me and my partner here, we won't mind the least. Carry on. And by the way, it's good to see you, _Snivellus._"

Lily watched as the two boys took the seat opposite Severus and her. She was fuming. Who did they think they were to simply walk in and _assume_ something entirely… preposterous?

The one without spectacles seemed to realise they forgot something. Introductions, of course. He stuck out a hand. "Sirius Black…and this is James Potter," Sirius motioned to the one with spectacles, who was now already lounging comfortably in his seat, staring at Lily with an air of amusement.

Lily did not like to be stared at. She was totally uncomfortable. So the guy was called James Potter. Even the name had something…arrogant about it. Potter.

The one in question spoke again. "Pleased to meet your acquaintance, Ms…?"

"Evans."

He raised an eyebrow. "Not one for formal introduction, are we?"

His smirk, if it was possible, just got more arrogant. He was taunting her.

Her face flushed. "No, it's just that I would prefer you to be calling me by my last name for the rest of our acquaintance."

For once, James Potter was left speechless with no good comebacks. Sirius noticed this and grinned. Maybe the great James Potter he just befriended had a downfall after all. He eyed Lily Evans, trying to figure out what was so special about this red-haired girl in front of him.

James blinked, but with an air of superiority, he broke the awkward silence hanging. He held out his hand with a grin.

Lily eyed at his hand suspiciously. This has to be some kind of trick, problem is she has no idea what he was going to do. But she scoffed inwardly; as if the sudden kind gesture would intimidate her and throw her off her feet.

Her hands slipped easily into his. He had a nice firm handshake too, one that was able to match hers. Both eyed each other in dislike.

She was about to pull her hand out of his when he suddenly pulled her towards him. She was caught off-guard.

He brought her face close to him and whispered in a low voice, "No one attacks James Potter and gets away."

The effect might have been scary, but Sirius lets out a snort and tried to suppress his laughter. Lily was tempted to break into a grin too, but James pulled her closer.

Their faces were almost touching, and Lily could felt her heart palpitating like a sledge-hammer. Was he going to…?

She forced her eyes shut, willing herself not to blush or let him feel her weakness. She knew he was taunting her, in this sick way.

She suddenly felt something cold touching her nose; she opened her eyes in alarm, only to see a red…what was that? An apple? James Potter had taken an apple and put it between their faces. He grinned impishly and took a bite, smirking at her. She was still blushing. Then she realised he was still holding her hand.

Lily step-sided James and roughly released herself from his hold. She was mad, how could this Potter be so smug about everything? And how could he treat others like they are beneath him?

"I really would not like to say this, but Evans, you look like a steaming carrot with that carrot hair of yours and that healthy flush," James attempted wordplay in a bid to annoy her further. "Kinda attractive, huh?"

Lily flushed crimson. No one ever called her a, a _CARROT!_ The cheek! She was more than annoyed, and she decided that she would put a stop to this unruly behaviour by this stupid Potter.

She reached for her wand and, remembering a spell she had read about the previous night, pointed the wand straight at James Potter.

In an instant he started growing a beard. Man was it a healthy beard…

James started yelping, and his new best friend did nothing except laugh his head off at his friend's plight.

"Teaches you to never treat people in that smug arrogant way of yours. Leave me alone, Potter," Lily said disdainfully before starting to make her way towards the door. Severus followed.

She pulled Severus out of the compartment. As the door closed, Sirius mock-cooed James. However, James was staring at the girl in interest.

"This Evans is one of a kind. No one messes with James Potter and gets away with it," James murmured, smirking slightly. Truth to be told, he was intrigued with this girl who dared to stand up against him.

Sirius shook his head. "Let's get rid of the beard first before anything."

"I look old! Can you imagine, this is how I will be 100 years down the road," James had reached for a mirror and was busy examining himself. He shuddered at the thought of growing a white beard when he aged…

Sirius raised an eyebrow and smirked at his newfound best friend. The gesture was returned warmly.

And this day, my friends, is the beginning of James and Lily's legendary cold war.

**Slightly varied from the book, i would say this helps in the plot better. Though i really loved the books and everything.**

**I do really hope that little green button down there (*points*) is something you have an urge in clicking. Mmm hmm?**


	3. Letting go

**A/N: Here, the double-chapter update (: Enjoy this long(er) chapter :D **

3

_"What hurts the most was being so close_  
_And havin' so much to say, and watchin' you walk away_  
_And never knowin' what could've been_  
_And not seein' that lovin' you is what I was tryin' to do" - Rascal Flatts, What hurts the most._

1976, May 17th

James Potter was lounging outside the classroom after class. Other 5th years milled out of the classroom, and many threw him a curious glance. What was the guy who topped this class for five years waiting after lesson for?

James ignored the glances in amusement. His friends stopped by and asked him whether he wanted them to wait for him. He shook his head briefly, eyes fixated on the door. His friends exchanged knowing glances and walked off, not before throwing looks of sympathy at their love-struck friend.

James saw his target walk out of the classroom alone. She was one of the last few to, obviously having stayed back to clear a few doubts with the transfiguration teacher.

Truth to be told, he was a bit nervous about this run-in. James Potter seldom felt that emotion, but now his stomach churned uncomfortably.

He made to approach her, but she had looked up from her book and had seen him. Her face immediately contorted into a frown and she turned to walk another direction.

"Hey Evans, wait up!" he called. His agility from years of training for Quidditch helped as he slipped up easily to block Lily's path.

Lily gave a scowl in irritation and decided to change direction again. Anything to get away from this annoying and persistent toerag in front of her.

She was thwarted by James again. "Hey, I just want to confirm our tutoring session tonight at 7?"

If there was one thing Lily Evans needed help in that would be Transfiguration. The irony of the situation was that only James had the ability to help her in that subject. She had unwilling agreed to Professor McGonagall's suggestion of getting him to tutor her.

Strangely enough, their tutoring sessions were rather productive after all. They did manage to complete many spells and Lily felt her own improvement. The only drawback was that James took any available opportunity to ask her out. You might have thought, after all these years of rejecting him he would have given up. No, James Potter was one hard nut to crack.

But today, Lily was in no mood for a one-on-one session with said Potter. They had a nasty argument yesterday by the lake, one that involved Severus Snape. Severus had called Lily a 'mudblood' and that constituted the end of their friendship. What made her blood boil was that James was the sole _cause_ of the end of a treasured friendship. Sure, she had forgiven Severus, but she knew that their friendship would never be the same again. _All thanks to Potter._

"No, I am fine studying alone," she replied and coldly, getting ready to leave.

James frowned. "And why would that be? Transfiguration O.W.L.s is tomorrow and you would need all the help you can get."

Lily gritted her teeth. What an arrogant statement. _Like she couldn't do it without him._

She turned on him. "You think you are so smart and I need to be _begging_ you for that bit of help. You know what, SAVE IT. I will rather fail tomorrow than accept _your_ help!"

She had raised her voice. The end of the sentence came out more like a shout. Panting slightly after the shouting, she turned to walk away.

He softened. He was at a loss what to do. He had made her this mad.

"I am sorry. I just thought you would appreciate some help," he started.

Lily felt genuinely sorry that she had yelled at him. He sounded hurt. She turned and offered a slight smile that did not quite reach her eyes. "I mean…I just need sometime alone. It will be more productive, you know…"

Lily felt James tense up. He was beginning to frown. Oh no, he's going to bring up yesterday's events.

"About yesterday, I am sorry…"

"Sorry about what?" Lily asked, with a slight accusation in her tone.

"Sorry about your loss of a friend," he said simply. "But you never should have mixed with people like Snivellus."

Hearing him call Severus the nickname he had given him from day one made her blood boil. "Well, you don't have to be sorry then, because we are still friends."

James eyes widened at the news. "After what he called you, you can still forgive him?"

Lily was not so sure either. She tried to put on a brave front to hide her own insecurities. "It slipped out, he said he made a mistake."

"He calls everyone your birth that. Why should you be of an exception?" James retorted quietly, echoing the words Lily has been asking herself every day after their fight.

She was at a loss of what to say, but seeing the smirk form on Potter's face was enough to irk her into defensive mode. "We are friends…me and Sev, we have been friends since forever. He will not throw away our friendship just like that…it was a mistake," Lily fought for words.

She knew she was not only trying to show Potter that he was wrong, but the majority of her words were also targeted at herself, convincing herself that forgiving Severus was the correct thing to do. They have been friends since before Hogwarts, and he was the one who introduced her to this magical world. Of course she trusted him.

James stared at the redhead in front of him in disbelief. After _Snivellus_ had shown his true colours, Lily still trusted him? Snape _immersed_ himself in the dark arts, for goodness sake. He was convinced that Lily knew just how he was. Anger boiled up in him.

"After he called you…that, you still speak up for him?" James said coldly.

Lily was struck by how cold he sounded. Potter never used this sort of tone with her. Their eyes met, and what she saw in his hazel eyes startled her. He was furious. His eyes flashed with anger, anger directed at her. In surprise, Lily stepped back instinctively.

In the second, she was flung down. She had tripped over something on the floor. She winced as she struggled to stand up.

A hand appeared in front of her eyes. She looked up to see Potter offering his hand to pull her up. He no longer looked angry and his eyes flashed concern. Lily smiled inwardly and reached her hand for his.

She saw a flicker of Potter's trademark smirk. She saw yesterday's events flash before her eyes. _He had that same smirk on when he bullied Severus. And when he asked me out…_

She recoiled just before her hands touched Potter's. She saw a frown creep onto Potter's face.

"What's the matter?"

She threw him a look of disdain as she hoisted herself up. "You are just as bad as him anyway!"

"What? What did I even do?" he yelped, feeling the anger that left him a few seconds ago return. His hands ran instinctively to his hair and he ruffled his hair in anger and confusion.

"Treating everyone else like they are beneath you, humiliating someone for the fun of it, laughing with your friends about your latest pranks, enjoying all the attention from the stupid fangirls of yours, annoying me _every single second of the day_, and…and…ruffling your hair just to look cool… James Potter, you disgust me," Lily went into a rant.

She had not bothered looking at him when she was raving off about all the things she hated about him and now when she finally looked at him, she realised something wrong. He was expressionless, face devoid of any kind of emotion.

James Potter was very good at hiding his inner emotions. Every time Lily turned down his requests for a date, he learnt to put on a nonchalant façade and laugh it off in front of his friends. But he was hurt, every single time. His trademark smirk had been his best weapon, in both charming chicks and covering up his real pain.

After a silent inner struggle, James forced his mouth to form that smirk. It usually came easily, but this time, he felt like he was mustering all his strength just to do it.

His smirk was tight. Lily noticed that he had lost that glint in his eyes. Had she gone overboard this time? But she didn't care if she had hurt him, did she?

James looked at the girl in front of him. She was mustering up a slight apologetic smile, but her eyes betrayed her loathing for him. This time it really sunk in – she really _hated_ him. His self-control snapped.

His smirk faded. "You really care for Snape, huh? After all the pain he's put you through, you will still forgive him. I admire you, Lily Evans, for being able to accept him the way he is – a Slytherin with his greasy nose stuck in the dark arts…" he saw Lily flare up at the description and he knew he did not want to deal with her right now. "No, wait, you listen. You gave him chances after chances. You are really noble you know that? No but wait, you never gave ME a chance. Snape deserved your respect and friendship. And I don't. All those years of snagging you, since 3rd year, you think I am just toying with you? I stood up for you yesterday, and how did you react? You told me off, as usual, because you blame _me_ for everything that happened. Yeah, I am an arrogant toerag in your eyes – and that is only because you never bothered to see me for who I am. In your "Ms-prefect" eyes, I am just a bastard who can't stop bullying others. You never bothered to see WHY I actually hexed Snape, it's always all my fault."

He paused slightly for breath. "You know what, yesterday I saw him with that Avery guy. I overheard their plot to hurt Marlene. They were going to slip something into her drink. I couldn't tell anyone, but yesterday I pranked Snape for Marlene."

"No, he wouldn't. He wasn't going to hurt anyone," Lily replied tiredly but firmly, seeming to have been drained of all her energy. "You are just making excuses."

James bit his lower lips in anger. "Excuses? That's the problem with you, you NEVER trust me. You will rather believe in someone you have already lost faith in rather than me. Snape was given a chance to explain; I am not. But you don't exactly believe in your own judgements of Snape and those words you used to convince yourself that he's still the guy you wanted him to be?"

Lily avoided his burning stare. "He made a mistake, he told me. I trust him. I can't be wrong."

James took a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm himself down from the frustration he was feeling. His blood was boiling at Lily's foolish insistence. _She just refused to see…_

"The problem with you, Lily Evans, is that you are scared of being wrong. You are scared that if you let me in, I will show you that you have always been wrong about me. Your judgement of me has been skewed from day one, and you firmly believe in what you think I am, refusing to see the truth that is right in front of you. You can't stand it if I prove to you that I am _not_ the bastard you make me out to be. You refuse to acknowledge the fact that I can be rather decent when I am tutoring you Transfiguration. You refuse to take in the fact that I do not prank people just for the fun of it – I usually have a damn good enough reason. You refuse to see the fact that the only reason I hexed all the guys who asked you out was because I was jealous and I wanted you badly."

Lily was rendered speechless. However much she wanted to deny and counter him, she could not find the words to do so.

James waited for Lily's headstrong rebuttal, but it never came. He looked into Lily's eyes. "I am sorry I am such a pain in the arse. You really cannot stand me, can you? You know what, I don't care anymore. From today onwards, I will no longer waste my bloody time on you. You can go away with belief today that I am a fucking asshole and I don't care. I am an asshole, a coward who realised that he no longer wants to bother with Ms Perfect. He's sick of everything. You are right; I was fucking making excuses when I said I pranked Snape solely for Marlene. No, I pranked him to fulfil an inner desire. Happy? I never could be trusted. There. Isn't it a good feeling to be told that you have always been correct? Good-bye, Evans."

He turned around and walked away, leaving her feeling strangely empty.

James felt his legs carry him back to the common room – his mind was wandering somewhere else. In the comfort of his dormitory, he finally had some time to think. He had no idea whether what he had done was right. _But who cares about right and wrong?_ One thing he knew for certain, he had to get over Evans – she was affecting him far too much.

The face of the charming redhead appeared before his eyes. He had just poured out all the frustrations he felt because of her _to_ her. He had just shown his weak side to her. He wondered how she would take it. _She's probably laughing at me right now._

But I think I am seriously done with her, he told himself. Earlier before he left, he had looked at Evans and felt nothing more than anger – no hurt, no pain. He was angry at her for being so unfair to him. More than that, he was angry at himself for letting go so easily. But what else could be done?

He was not going to wallow in self-pity. He told himself he would no longer have to waste time on Evans, someone who was never going to reciprocate his feelings.

He thought of countless number of times Lily had shouted to him to "Leave me (her) alone". He smiled inwardly, feeling a tinge of sadness and regret.

_I am leaving you alone now, Evans._

That night, they both studied with their own circle of friends for transfiguration O.W.L. The next day during the exam, James Potter could be seen casting concerned glances at Lily Evans throughout the written exams. He had gone through most of the key-points in his tutoring sessions. _She had better be able to do them_.

He later tried to convince himself that all the worry was simply the concern of an overly-passionate Transfiguration tutor who wanted to make sure he did a good job.

_Damn, I am screwed._

**A/N: my personal favourite chapter so far. Hope i did okay in trying to portray the tension and the angst. You know it, a review is the best encouragement!**

**Till next time,**

**Jess-Siriusly**


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